Facebookers:My Us article!!

      This is my article that was published last Friday in weekly magazine for youth, Us. Its about 8 different kinds of users you will find on Facebook.



       Social networking has its pros and cons. The pseudo-intellectuals may continue with their bashing of social networking and its adverse effects on people, but in reality all these social networking mediums which emerged and got popular at the end of last decade have affected our lives in a way that was never done before. It may seem like an over statement but emergence and popularity of these social networking platforms especially facebook has been revolutionary. In my opinion, with a stark reduction in trend of personal socializing and increasing distances, facebook has offered and presented an amazing way to keep in touch with your friends.

        Facebook comes with its fair share of hitches and side effects. With a three months long summer vacation break, a sharp increase in usage of Facebook is inevitable among the university goers. I am experiencing something similar. Since last few weeks, I have been closely observing activities of my peers and acquaintances on facebook and I figured that all these facebook users can fit perfectly into certain categories on basis of their demeanor and behavior on Facebook. As much as I dislike stereotyping, I couldn’t avoid the temptation of classifying these various kinds of users. I came up with 8 most viral and active groups of facebookers. Here’s my list.

 The Tormenting Taggers:

       This group of facebookers will tag you in each and every preposterously outlandish and bizarre item they post on facebook whether it’s a ludicrous picture of them posing for camera or some lame facebook app that rates their friends telling who is most trustworthy of them. I have zero tolerance policy for this group and I always don’t give it a second thought before untagging myself from these tags which I have nothing to do with.

 Creepy Commenters:

   This group of facebookers have innate problem of giving weird and totally inappropriate comments which linger on being offensive on people’s statuses and posts. They will comment just for the sake of it. They can be aptly called as “party poopers of facebook”.

Religiously Regular Ones:

     This is actually one of my favorite kinds and I have a deep sense of appreciation for the way this group of facebookers stays loyal to facebook. They will never miss posting an update or sharing a pictures of their daily life adventures and galas with situational description of each picture. In leisure time they will post funny videos and songs with explanation of what they like or admire about that particular video. Man!! Talk about dedication.

 Aided with Agendas:

        You open your facebook account and gets an utter surprise as a message from your elementary school classmate whom you might not even remember from school days but yet ended up being friends with on facebook somehow and before you know it, he shamelessly asks you to join and like his stupid “so and so” facebook page. I am guessing this story might sound familiar to a lot of you. This is the facebookers group who are loaded with personal agendas. Their stint on facebook seems like a big publicity and self advertisement campaign which might involve anything from posting song covers and attending their seminars about things you are least interested in to liking their facebook pages and voting for them in facebook polls.

 Girl Gazers:

    Unarguably, the cheapest and most disgusting group of facebookers who are merrily on facebook in search of girls in digital world like of which they can only dream of getting in real world and they use every dirty trick and every filthy pickup line they know in accomplishing their mission. But thanks to facebook’s privacy settings, which weren’t their when facebook first emerged; this breed of facebookers is diminishing gradually and hopefully will vanish completely as time goes on having learnt their lessons.

The Opinionated Ones:

     These are the ones for whom facebook is just another source for channeling opinions and carrying out discussions. This lot of intellectual facebookers is full of opinions about social issues and current affairs and is often found busy in some hot debate with their fellow facebookers. All their facebook activities revolve around their social perspectives and exercising of their political views, they will share links of articles and discussions hovering around very subjective political or social issues and post videos that voice their opinions and promote their views which often lead to heated debates in the comments section.

 Adobe Addictives:

     Huh! Don’t know how to introduce this specie of facebookers, they are one of the most amusing kind. Well, to cut the chase, this breed of social networkers have a thing for Adobe Photoshop, they photo shop  pictures of them and other people and post the edited pictures onto facebook tagging everyone they know along so that everyone can enjoy and get mesmerized by this “extinct” art of theirs. Some of their bests include picture of them standing in middle of Katrina Kaif and Kareena Kapoor, of them standing in front of Eifel tower, picture of their best friend face edited in place of the Statue of Liberty’s face. The thing about them which amuses me the most is the confidence and pride with which they flaunt these pictures as some sort of artistic masterpiece worthy of wide global acknowledgment and how they will tag everyone and go as far as positing these pictures on walls of various groups not realizing the how irritating and unflattering their pictures are and how any Tom, Dick and Harry can use Adobe Photoshop to do the very same thing they are doing.

 Showoff Schmucks:

       Often while roaming on facebook you come across posts by people which leave you wondering about the purpose and the intentions behind those posts/comments etc. This breed of facebookers uses it as a ground for bragging and boasting about things in their lives. There is a fine line between sharing updates about new developments in life and bragging about them, and this line is often missed by this group of facebookers. They will brag about everything from a new cell phone to their fine taste of music. Their mania is not limited to their own posts and in order to prove how cool they are because they listen to Coldplay and you like old film songs, they will post nasty comments on your song posts whining about how old-dated and whacky they find Urdu music to be and how they understand nothing but Western genre of music.

Usama Hamayun


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